Icarus here.
So I woke up this morning after having this strange dream about people putting massive lids on volcanoes to stop them from erupting. I mean the idea is bloody stupid it would never work. This was at roughly half five, with this current weather we are having, I could not get back to sleep. I did what most people this day and age do and checked Facebook for some kind of inspiration. Reading through I noticed a lot of people moaning about either being single or saying that someone wasn't attractive and it got me thinking; when did people redefine the word Attractive? When did the word become synonymous with aesthetic appeal?
If you look for the definition of attraction it will define the word as “The action or power of evoking interest in or liking for someone or something.” Nowhere there will you find the words beautiful or handsome and this is something that should be remembered in the modern day dating world.
I will give you a short and deliberately vague description of my aesthetics; I am of average height, pale skinned, dark hair, pierced and tattooed. I am most defiantly not “attractive” in terms of film star fake tan or bulging muscles making up for some other deficiency yet I still go on multiple dates and I still seem to attract beautiful women towards me. The brutal truth is I am actually rather plain when viewed in the light, I am of average build and have been lucky with my genetics to pick up a naturally wide set of shoulders which always look toned no matter how many burgers I eat!
BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS!
No matter how fitter I get or how tanned I get or the other way around my attractiveness to women is pretty much going to stay the same and the reason I know this is because I embrace and emulate the true definition of the word attractive.
If I am in a club with a bunch of other guys (for this example lets just assume they are muscle guys) what can I do to make myself more attractive than them? Its obvious that they have an advantage over me in sheer muscular build which some women will find attractive. I will not be able to compete there! I do have something that they also have which I will be able to use to my advantage however. All women, (read LADIES not tramps who are pissed at eight o'clock at night and hence not my target), Are attracted to MATURE men. How can I display this? Also, knowing the muscle guys will also be quite mature too, how can I make myself more impressive that them and play my best card?
One thing I do know about muscle guys is they love people paying them and there arms attention. Right there I have a nice crack I can put a crowbar in and get him to be viewed as unattractive by the girl I want. Everyone needs attention, that is just part of our programming. However, an excessive need for attention or anger due to being denied attention is incredibly unattractive. Seeking validation in anyone but your own mind is self destructive and immature.
With these things in mind and understanding what makes attraction work I could possibly play a little game with the guys, keep them friendly whilst also simultaneously demonstrating my own value by making them work for my attention therefore causing the woman to ask herself “who is that guy who can get three muscle guys dancing to his tune?”
We could do this numerous ways but a nice easy one and one that will work on most muscle, student types is to strike up a conversation with a group of lads (if your having trouble finding a good set, at some point one of them will have spilled a beer and someone will be shouting “Oi oi lads wayyy”) Once you have started talking to them you will probably be immediately aware of the “gun” show going on. You could ask them to arm wrestle each other and say something along the lines of “Man, I dunno your mate looks well stronger you should, like, do press-ups in the middle of the dance floor I'll judge.” Hopefully at this point the guys have probably marched off and cleared out the dance floor much to the annoyance of anyone currently using it.
This point is critical, the guys will assume they are making themselves look manly and cool, some women will fall for this. The lady you are interested in, however, needs to know they are doing it because you asked them. Try to catch her eye as they are doing their push-ups and give her that “OMG what are they doing!” eye roll. At this point you can play the guys willingness to impress people and her admiration you are making a couple of muscle guys do what you want. Ask her if she wants a lift to the smoking area “Ill get my henchmen to take you up!” Get the guys to pick her up and take her up stairs! As long as she thinks the whole time its because you TOLD the guys and they are doing it to IMPRESS you/women you cant really go wrong!
I have kind of gone a bit off topic here but hopefully you can see my point. Attractiveness does not mean Beautiful. It does not mean Handsome. Attractiveness is quite simply a state of mind. If you can either appear to be in control or just appear to be a fun person, you could go out covered in mud and still meet people. If you can make a person's night by being fun or being mysterious and have two noses, you are attractive.
The best part? If you look like Brad Pitt and are a boring conversationalist your probably going to have less luck in dating than Quasimodo. The thing to take away here is this...
You are Attractive. You have something within you that WILL make someone like you. You are unique, special and probably better in bed than you think. Let your personality shine through and stop worrying about how “attractive” you are and portray your “ATTRACTIVENESS!”
Icarus (Still the most attractive here though ;)
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