My relationship with jealousy has always been a mixed one.I, like many others get jealousy easy, especially when socialising. How ever this emotion plays a huge part when meeting new people especially if we are meeting new people for dating.
Let me share with you here a small story. A few years ago I was out with some friends. The night was quite so I decided to introduce my self to some new people. Within the group of new friends I had met was a woman who caught my eye. She was interesting, fun and petite. I was not attracted to this women, she was just very friendly and polite. As the night went on she started to flirt a little with me, as flattered as I was I still was not attracted to her, I just enjoyed her company. As she could see I was not responding to her advances she decided to start flirting with my friends and her attention quickly shifted.
It was at this point in the night that I started becoming very jealous of my friend and the attention he was getting and slowly started wanting the attention back slowly becoming attracted to her whilst doing so. Throughout the night this fun petite women was sharing her attention and her touch between me and my friend and as my jealousy grew so did my attraction. This continued throughout the night until the attraction I felt was high enough for me to want to exchange contact details.
In the morning as I broke down the events of the previous night I was reluctant to call this women again as I was not attracted to her at all yet during the night I was drawn to her like a moth to a light bulb. I realised that morning that by allowing my jealousy to grow and get the better off me I allowed my attraction to grow and that there is a clear bond between them.
We met up a few days later for a friendly chat and coffee knowing that I will have to explain how I am not interested in dating this women but enjoyed her company and wanted to make a new friend. I nervously explained to her how I felt. As she let out a little giggle she explained that she knew and how she deliberately tried to make me jealousy for that reason but most importantly she could tell how I felt that night. We still speak to each other to this day. There are two things from this story to take note of here.
Firstly, being that jealousy is very easy to read and that we must control our emotions and our body language when we are meeting new people and not to allow our emotional state to change to the negative as it will change the course we set ourselves on as explained in more detail in spiral thinking. Attraction between two people can be built in many different ways; I'm sure in another blog we will give some examples.
Secondly being that jealousy is an emotion that people deliberately play with and that we can also use the emotion jealousy as a tool in our arsenal if we so choose to demonstrate our higher value. There is nothing wrong with being a little flirty with more than one person. You can just be a flirty guy/girl.
Thanks for reading!
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