A guide to "Wingmanship"

Hello Icarus here.

Its been a few weeks since you have heard from me due to some exciting real life developments. Mr Rudman in his wisdom has asked me to provide a quick guide on the subject of wingman-ship.

For those not in the know a "Wingman" is a term used for a friend of the same sex as you who's job is to help you achieve a particular objective within a social experience. This can range from helping you "open a set" (Talking to random people) To kissing someone you may have found attractive during the night out.

The wingman is a sacred position and one that should not be taken lightly as you have the power to make or break new relationships very easily. The best way to play this role is to develop the skills necessary and always portray them. Not only will they make you an excellent wing but they will also make you a very well liked and approachable person. Furthermore, excellent wingman-ship is always paid back so expect any action you take to be repaid in the future.

So what are the traits needed to be a great wing? There are a few characteristics that make winging easier and if you posses them you are on to a great start. If you don't then don't panic as there are ways to practise till you do have them.

• A sense of empathy. 
• A Mutual respect with your wing. 
• Personal knowledge of your wing.
• An ability to "Take one for the team"
• Either hold your alcohol or know when its appropriate to drink.

As you can see from the above list its not exactly rocket science. The important thing to remember when selecting your wing or offering to be a wing is to remember that you are there to help each other. There will be times when as a wing you are expected to place your experience after the person you are winging but again this will be repaid in time.


While I have listed the positive attributes necessary to become a great wing, I would also like to list the negatives that will result in a BAD wing.

• Jealousy
• Attention seeker
• Someone who physically intimidates others to promote themselves

Again the above list is pretty self explanatory. If you are the kind of person who gets upset at not being the centre of attention you will not be very good as a wing as your job is to make someone else the centre of attention. This is a great time to get a handle on these negative characteristics not only for the purposes of winging but also to encourage a healthier personality.

So now we have the personality traits necessary we just need to go about being a great wing. A good place to start in any social circumstance is the opener or initiating a conversation. You can use your wing to deflate any awkwardness that may arise from you approaching a new set of people.

Open a set without your wing, deliver a false time constraint, an opener and root the conversation. At this point your wing should walk in and use this opportunity to provide some DHV. A good one I commonly use is "Hey guys how you doing? I see you have met Daz, you lucky people! He's one of the most charming legendary people I know!"

This is a bit over the top but I generally calibrate it to the group I am in. This is a more high energy group where exaggeration is commonplace and not taken seriously.

For a lower energy group you could use something like this.

"Hello guys. Daz sorry to interrupt mate but I wanted to say thanks for that massive favour you did for me the other day. What can I get you to drink?"

This may seem like you are being subservient or of lower value than your friend after you have offered to buy a drink but when the wing goes to get the drink you should be building him up as a pay back saying something like. "Oh he's a great guy one of the very best, we always know we can rely on each other and that is the kind of friendships I enjoy nurturing."

This will provide a few things, namely that you attract good people, that you are a high value friend that people will willingly do things for and that you willingly do things for other people.

Imagine that is you... Who doesn't want a friend like that?

I feel like I've gone on a bit now so I will leave this here if there is any more information that you need or want to learn more about the noble art of wingman-ship then please don't hesitate to drop me or Daz a line and I will try and answer any questions he pushes my way.

Until then, Fly safe!

Icarus

Yes I am aware of the irony of the sign off and my pseudo-name :/