Alpha Characteristic’s And portraying your Tribal leader Status

The alpha characteristic is the attribute an individual portrays in any given social situation of leadership. More importantly becoming an alpha male or alpha female becomes a life style change.

Firstly, lets explore the concept of leadership and how a leader acts. A leader is a;

•          A protector,
•          A provider,
•          A friend,
•          A decision maker,
•          A healthy being who is desired.

These traits that umbrella off from the alpha characteristic are important to portray when expressing and sharing your personality in social scenarios. But why? Because these specific traits help demonstrate a successful partner for dating which of course is attractive to most people so let’s see what these traits actually portray;

•          Protection,
•          Safety
•          Fun and enjoyment,
•         Social status,
•          Healthy offspring
•          Adventure

In this blog we will investigated the three main traits to focus on well making that step towards showing and becoming the alpha. These are; Health, Wealth and Friendships.

                               

These are the three qualities’ an individual will subconsciously look for in their search for a partner. Whilst we continue into more detail these traits, it would help to have an evolutionary psychological perspective and think back to a time where survival was the main aim. Between the three attributes they cover all survival needs required from both sex perspectives.

So moving on with the details lets now together breakdown healthiness in socializing and dating.

Being healthy and representing a healthy lifestyle is actually very easy and cost virtual no money. When we are talking about portraying healthiness we are referring to a healthy life style and a hygienic personal cleanliness.  Being healthy on the inside will show and shine through on the outside, especially when social interacting. Showing good health will reassure others that you may produce a healthy offspring and maintain a healthy relationship. A very attractive trait to possess as mentioned previously. If you eat well and drink lots of water your skin will become radiant and therefore looks healthier. You will get less spots, less blackheads a healthy shin of skin. Shower and exercise regularly. Remember going for a walk is good exercise, you don’t have to go to the gym and commit to membership; just get some fresh air and rays of sun. Small life choices like these can instantly and easily be seen by others or even shared by your-self in conversation when meeting new people.  This will encourage others to complement you also. All validation from others increases your overall confidence as a person and we all do want to date a healthy partner.

Continuing on, lets now breakdown wealth and the perception and truth about expressing wealth.

Being wealthy has very little to do with money, just a perception. This small comment and truth is one of the most important things about social interaction that people seem to miss, so for the sake of this blog let us repeat this comment and truly acknowledge and appreciate it.

“Being wealthy has very little to do with money, just a perception.”

When an individual is successful in terms of finances and ambition, his partner will also feel prosperous, due to their shared achievements, a decent financial background, a well-paid career, a nice car and big house again shows protection, fun, safety, adventure. However and this is important. There comes a time in a relationship where the long term plans and financial securities becomes an important conversation to have when dating however, this is generally after the first year of dating (in my personal opinion) as certainly is not relevant until then.

So let’s now look at simple cost effective ways of portraying a wealthy and prosperous you. Simple and small things like ironing your clothes, dressing smart and keeping your shoes polished or clean can give your appearance a sense of wellbeing. Wearing jewelry and small accessories can also show and expose how you have disposable income; I like to wear wooden beads on my wrist. Also wearing aftershave or perfume also shows disposable income as well as expressing a sense of health and cleanliness. These are all important for the initial first meet and impression as you appear to demonstrate subtle wealth. This wealth signifies a sense of security and a prospecting future and this is very attractive as an alpha characteristic.

And finally lets explore Friendships and relationships with others.

By surrounding yourself with friends and new acquaintances, you will portray popularity. This in turn is attractive as again it shows security. Through having many friends your survival skills substantially increases due to your ability to protect. This is a trait that shows you’re sociably accepted henceforth obtaining more attention through validation also. Not being aggressive with others and understanding and listening will help any conversation with people more fluent. Taking the time to be polite to staff and making a lasting impression will also help to express that social acceptance. The simple aim weather going out with friends you already have or going out to make new friends is to be likeable. This doesn’t mean change your opinions and beliefs to match others, its just simply mean to be sympathetic, empathetic and understanding when conversing with others.

For Example:

Van Wilder is a fictional character within a film whom is portrayed as a selfless man willing to help others such as the failing sports team. What makes him appealing is that he does it out of charity and gives his time to others and therefore is respected and loved by all in the college. If you have not seen the film Van Wilder I do recommend watching it.

You don’t have to help everyone in your town or throw money at people to buy friends, however you can be generous with your time through performing good deeds.

•         Help someone who has just dropped their bag
•   Help a neighbour with the shopping from their car
•   Support causes around your town you agree with like charities

All of the above are small noble deeds which take as little as five minutes but will be remembered for a lifetime subsequently talked about by others, thus increasing your popularity.

These are all simple ideas shared towards being and showing your alpha characteristic when socializing and all of us have the recourses to do so and portray to others that we are ALPHA MALES or ALPHA FEMALES.

Thanks for reading guys and girls and have a wicked week. Love you all, Daz

A guide to "Wingmanship"

Hello Icarus here.

Its been a few weeks since you have heard from me due to some exciting real life developments. Mr Rudman in his wisdom has asked me to provide a quick guide on the subject of wingman-ship.

For those not in the know a "Wingman" is a term used for a friend of the same sex as you who's job is to help you achieve a particular objective within a social experience. This can range from helping you "open a set" (Talking to random people) To kissing someone you may have found attractive during the night out.

The wingman is a sacred position and one that should not be taken lightly as you have the power to make or break new relationships very easily. The best way to play this role is to develop the skills necessary and always portray them. Not only will they make you an excellent wing but they will also make you a very well liked and approachable person. Furthermore, excellent wingman-ship is always paid back so expect any action you take to be repaid in the future.

So what are the traits needed to be a great wing? There are a few characteristics that make winging easier and if you posses them you are on to a great start. If you don't then don't panic as there are ways to practise till you do have them.

• A sense of empathy. 
• A Mutual respect with your wing. 
• Personal knowledge of your wing.
• An ability to "Take one for the team"
• Either hold your alcohol or know when its appropriate to drink.

As you can see from the above list its not exactly rocket science. The important thing to remember when selecting your wing or offering to be a wing is to remember that you are there to help each other. There will be times when as a wing you are expected to place your experience after the person you are winging but again this will be repaid in time.


While I have listed the positive attributes necessary to become a great wing, I would also like to list the negatives that will result in a BAD wing.

• Jealousy
• Attention seeker
• Someone who physically intimidates others to promote themselves

Again the above list is pretty self explanatory. If you are the kind of person who gets upset at not being the centre of attention you will not be very good as a wing as your job is to make someone else the centre of attention. This is a great time to get a handle on these negative characteristics not only for the purposes of winging but also to encourage a healthier personality.

So now we have the personality traits necessary we just need to go about being a great wing. A good place to start in any social circumstance is the opener or initiating a conversation. You can use your wing to deflate any awkwardness that may arise from you approaching a new set of people.

Open a set without your wing, deliver a false time constraint, an opener and root the conversation. At this point your wing should walk in and use this opportunity to provide some DHV. A good one I commonly use is "Hey guys how you doing? I see you have met Daz, you lucky people! He's one of the most charming legendary people I know!"

This is a bit over the top but I generally calibrate it to the group I am in. This is a more high energy group where exaggeration is commonplace and not taken seriously.

For a lower energy group you could use something like this.

"Hello guys. Daz sorry to interrupt mate but I wanted to say thanks for that massive favour you did for me the other day. What can I get you to drink?"

This may seem like you are being subservient or of lower value than your friend after you have offered to buy a drink but when the wing goes to get the drink you should be building him up as a pay back saying something like. "Oh he's a great guy one of the very best, we always know we can rely on each other and that is the kind of friendships I enjoy nurturing."

This will provide a few things, namely that you attract good people, that you are a high value friend that people will willingly do things for and that you willingly do things for other people.

Imagine that is you... Who doesn't want a friend like that?

I feel like I've gone on a bit now so I will leave this here if there is any more information that you need or want to learn more about the noble art of wingman-ship then please don't hesitate to drop me or Daz a line and I will try and answer any questions he pushes my way.

Until then, Fly safe!

Icarus

Yes I am aware of the irony of the sign off and my pseudo-name :/

Do you think i'm sexy? Attractiveness and its place in dating

Icarus here.

So I woke up this morning after having this strange dream about people putting massive lids on volcanoes to stop them from erupting. I mean the idea is bloody stupid it would never work. This was at roughly half five, with this current weather we are having, I could not get back to sleep. I did what most people this day and age do and checked Facebook for some kind of inspiration. Reading through I noticed a lot of people moaning about either being single or saying that someone wasn't attractive and it got me thinking; when did people redefine the word Attractive? When did the word become synonymous with aesthetic appeal?

If you look for the definition of attraction it will define the word as “The action or power of evoking interest in or liking for someone or something.” Nowhere there will you find the words beautiful or handsome and this is something that should be remembered in the modern day dating world.

I will give you a short and deliberately vague description of my aesthetics; I am of average height, pale skinned, dark hair, pierced and tattooed. I am most defiantly not “attractive” in terms of film star fake tan or bulging muscles making up for some other deficiency yet I still go on multiple dates and I still seem to attract beautiful women towards me. The brutal truth is I am actually rather plain when viewed in the light, I am of average build and have been lucky with my genetics to pick up a naturally wide set of shoulders which always look toned no matter how many burgers I eat!

BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS!

No matter how fitter I get or how tanned I get or the other way around my attractiveness to women is pretty much going to stay the same and the reason I know this is because I embrace and emulate the true definition of the word attractive.

If I am in a club with a bunch of other guys (for this example lets just assume they are muscle guys) what can I do to make myself more attractive than them? Its obvious that they have an advantage over me in sheer muscular build which some women will find attractive. I will not be able to compete there! I do have something that they also have which I will be able to use to my advantage however. All women, (read LADIES not tramps who are pissed at eight o'clock at night and hence not my target), Are attracted to MATURE men. How can I display this? Also, knowing the muscle guys will also be quite mature too, how can I make myself more impressive that them and play my best card?

One thing I do know about muscle guys is they love people paying them and there arms attention. Right there I have a nice crack I can put a crowbar in and get him to be viewed as unattractive by the girl I want. Everyone needs attention, that is just part of our programming. However, an excessive need for attention or anger due to being denied attention is incredibly unattractive. Seeking validation in anyone but your own mind is self destructive and immature.

With these things in mind and understanding what makes attraction work I could possibly play a little game with the guys, keep them friendly whilst also simultaneously demonstrating my own value by making them work for my attention therefore causing the woman to ask herself “who is that guy who can get three muscle guys dancing to his tune?”

We could do this numerous ways but a nice easy one and one that will work on most muscle, student types is to strike up a conversation with a group of lads (if your having trouble finding a good set, at some point one of them will have spilled a beer and someone will be shouting “Oi oi lads wayyy”) Once you have started talking to them you will probably be immediately aware of the “gun” show going on. You could ask them to arm wrestle each other and say something along the lines of “Man, I dunno your mate looks well stronger you should, like, do press-ups in the middle of the dance floor I'll judge.” Hopefully at this point the guys have probably marched off and cleared out the dance floor much to the annoyance of anyone currently using it.

This point is critical, the guys will assume they are making themselves look manly and cool, some women will fall for this. The lady you are interested in, however, needs to know they are doing it because you asked them. Try to catch her eye as they are doing their push-ups and give her that “OMG what are they doing!” eye roll. At this point you can play the guys willingness to impress people and her admiration you are making a couple of muscle guys do what you want. Ask her if she wants a lift to the smoking area “Ill get my henchmen to take you up!” Get the guys to pick her up and take her up stairs! As long as she thinks the whole time its because you TOLD the guys and they are doing it to IMPRESS you/women you cant really go wrong!

I have kind of gone a bit off topic here but hopefully you can see my point. Attractiveness does not mean Beautiful. It does not mean Handsome. Attractiveness is quite simply a state of mind. If you can either appear to be in control or just appear to be a fun person, you could go out covered in mud and still meet people. If you can make a person's night by being fun or being mysterious and have two noses, you are attractive.

The best part? If you look like Brad Pitt and are a boring conversationalist your probably going to have less luck in dating than Quasimodo. The thing to take away here is this...

You are Attractive. You have something within you that WILL make someone like you. You are unique, special and probably better in bed than you think. Let your personality shine through and stop worrying about how “attractive” you are and portray your “ATTRACTIVENESS!”

Icarus (Still the most attractive here though ;)

Expanding Body language; Micro Expressions.

Icarus here. Its been a while due to real life being way to exciting to stop playing for even ten minutes. This blog is going to explore the world of micro expressions.

 

            First a little introduction to what micro expressions actually are: Micro expressions are pretty much exactly what they sound like. Expressions.... which are small. For example the flicker of an eye lid or twitch in a cheek muscle when someone hears something they don't like or the lift of the corner of the mouth when you hear something you do like.

            There are literally hundreds of different variations that you can learn to observe and mimic if you are very good. Way too many for me to go into detail here. The main thing you should take away from this is that micro expressions correctly read NEVER lie.

            But what are they? The three most common areas to observe micro gestures are.

•                    Movement around the mouth

•                    Tension around the eyes

•                    Flaring around the nose

            These movements are caused by the surrounding muscles as they receive two conflicting ideas within your brain. Usually how you genuinely feel about something versus what you want someone to think you feel about something. You may be asked the question how was your date last night? Your verbal reply may be “Yeah it was awesome. She is incredibly beautiful and funny!”

            Your non verbal reply, or what you actually thinking could be “No, it was terrible. She didn't stop talking about her ex all night and I had to pay for everything”

            We can analyse the above example and pinpoint exactly where the lie comes into play by observing the three areas listed above. The sentence by someone genuine would be delivered with a flashing smile, crows feet visible, nose wrinkling and a small glint in the eye as the mind travels back to an obviously awesome night. By someone being false we could observe that although most of the conversation would be delivered in exactly the same way, the micro expressions at the beginning of the sentence would read with great disgust as the brain recalls the feeling felt at the time of the date. The person being false would try to correct that gesture immediately and deliver a fake smile (this can be spotted by less teeth showing, fewer creases by the eyes and the nose not wrinkling as much. The second part of the sentence, delivered falsely, you would be able to notice as light uplift of the upper lip as the person is forced to relive the event again in his mind.

            Another example would be the POKER FACE! No, not a song by a lady I'm pretty sure is Marilyn Manson in drag(seriously look it up the resemblance is uncanny). By poker face I obviously mean the the look practised by professional poker players the world over. If you follow poker you will know the word “tell” which is a Micro gesture. You will notice all professional poker players cover their eyes they also play with chips on the table, mainly to cover up any other micro gestures they think they might be making. Again we can use a knowledge of micro gestures to realize the inner workings of our opponents mind.

            A player being dealt a hand picks it up and takes a glance. No matter how good this player or any player is, the millisecond he registers those cards his facial muscles will be shooting out to his opponent how he feels about them. A slight twitch under the eye, the squinting muscle, would imply he is glaring at his cards and is obviously unhappy at their current position in front of him. A slight twitch in his cheek would be a sign he is very happy with what he has seen. Bear in mind that these examples would probably not be much use in a casino. If they were I probably wouldn't be writing a blog on a Wednesday evening!        

            Due to the uncontrollable nature an adept can accurately predict thoughts pertaining to a particular subject asked and determine if the verbal answer corresponds to the non verbal answer. They can also be used to determine how an individual feels about someone else by observing their micro gestures when he is speaking.

            A good way to practise and see which ones mean what is to go into a coffee shop (again the one that rhymes with friar tucks would suffice) and observe two people talking.Try to ignore any of the actual words used and focus mainly when someone is asked to answer a question. As they are about to respond notice any twitches around the three areas listed above and make a decision as to how they are feeling inside their head. Next, try to recreate that twitch. You may feel like an idiot but its OK your learning and learning is always good. Once you have formed what you believe to be a good approximation of the twitch, exaggerate it and let it get larger on your face. From there you will be able to feel what kind of gesture the mind of the person observed intended and more often than not it will not be the one vocalized.

            To wrap this up, if you have ever been talking to someone and doubt they are telling you the truth, chances are your brain has caught a micro gesture and made you question the truthfulness of what was said. In short always listen to your “Gut” instinct it may prove to be incorrect but in my experience that's very rarely the case.

            Also if you meet me in person,I wasn't lying, I was genuine... You are very special.

Icarus.

P.S. I should say thank you to a lady who made it known that she was interested in reading a bit more about Micro expressions after reading my previous blog, so cheers Lucia!

Bodytalk or how to talk to cats!

Icarus here.

            This blog is all aimed at body language and the importance of being able to consciously read and adapt it for situations pertaining to everyday life from the view of someone who uses it everyday.

            So what is Body language? In the very simplest of terms it is the way all animals communicate. Humans can communicate with animals with it and more often than you realise they communicate with you using it on a daily basis. Try this; Grab a cat (preferably your own) sit him/her in front of you and try to make eye contact. When you have this eye contact slowly blink your eyes once and wait for the cats response. If said cat returns your look feel very overwhelmed that is the cat body language for trust and companionship! If the cat does not copy the look try again later. Cats tend to be very much “when I'm ready” kind of creature.

            Looking at it more deeply and applying it directly to the human race it is the way two subconscious beings communicate.

            Body language has evolved with us since we first started making our way out of the ocean (we evolved from aquatic ape like creatures, not apes, chimpanzees or bonobo's). At first it was our only means of communication. At that time our brains and vocal chords had not yet evolved to produce language apart from grunts and probably hisses which were more used as punctuation rather than actual words. Being our first form of communication the Gesture language itself would have been received just like hearing someone speak, with the knowledge of what someone was gesturing about being passed straight into our understanding.

            Over time the prevalence of a spoken word has overtaken the versatility and immediacy of gesturing, the human brain in response re-allocated more runtime toward understanding speech,tonality and dialect leaving the areas that understand and transmit gesturing to the concious mind to run in the background. This is why you will feel uncomfortable in situations were you are face to face with negative body language but will not understand why.

            Regardless of the development of the spoken language, the human subconscious still to this day deals with gesturing to get its point across. This is evident in “Shock” gestures (gasp,leaning back eyes wide and hand covering mouth) or “Attraction gestures” (Ill get to these in another blog ;) Usually body language is very obvious to spot when dealing with our primal urges, anger, attraction, surprise and pain. This is a very good area to begin any kind of study as they are more pure in a way.An angry man will always have an angry posture no matter how hard he tries to conceal it. In fact trying to control an angry posture sometimes makes it even more obvious.

            The point of all this of course is to train yourself to recognize body language and to control your own subconscious gesturing, what you use it for is at your discretion but I shall bullet point for you some areas I have used my understanding of body language to help me move forward in my own life.

•                    Become better in interview situations

•                    Realise a lie or truth

•                    To recognise attraction or lack thereof toward yourself

•                    To subtly portray attraction or lack thereof

•                    To encourage people to notice you

            You can ask Mr Rudman through social confidence for recommended reading or possibly approach him for private tuition which would be the ideal situation.

            If this is an area you are interested in but doubt it's efficacy then this would be my advise to start you off and amaze yourself at your own mind.

Go into any old coffee shop, for instance the one that rhymes with “friar tucks” take a book or newspaper, something you have to hold with both hands.Put your headphones in and listen to some music, anything will do as long as you can still concentrate while its playing in the background. Now, watch people. Wait for a group to sit at a table and see how they all talk to each other with their body's. When you have a picture in your head of how every one is related to each other, who secretly doesn't like who and who's dating who.Take your headphones out and listen to the conversation, subtly of course. I bet you any money you were pretty much spot on.

Your probably wondering, “why do I need to learn this if it is that easy?”Here's where our evolution steps in to kick us in the teeth. Go up to a random group of people and start a conversation with them (I shall blog about techniques for this another time, but for now any old conversation will do).While you are talking to them try to watch their body language, with out training you will not have a clue what is going on. Sure you may catch the odd sign and some alpha male dominance stance from the men but you will not be able to narrow anything down because the brain is “Consciously” running the speech part of the brain. With training you can essential alt-tab between gesture recognition and speech recognition.

Once you know what the gestures mean and how to interpret them in context you will get a lot of enjoyment out of practising this as well as advance your self to a higher operating mode able to puzzle out any social situation you find yourself in. I still to this day enjoy people watching especially the reserved brunette who keeps playing with the stem of the glass of wine while looking at me and touching her neck while I chat to her boyfriend......

I never said I was a good boy

Icarus

Disqualification and social Victory!

This whole concept is happening every night, do you know people are  talking about you?

Disqualification is a concept based on the idea of lowering all social value of everyone else in your social area/perimeter by challenging your new acquaintance to a observational game, subsequently raising you’revalue. This is not to be confused with acting in an unsociable manor or verbally attacking others, this idea is a playful challenge to utilise when out socialising.

Firstly let us pause to think about what social value is and how it can help us in the dating world. To demonstrate your high value, is to demonstrate that you are worth acknowledging and that you have value to offer your desired individual. This is also known as ‘DHV’. It may be small comment expressing how you’re career focused and ambitious or that you have family that you protect and that you can protect your friends as well, in a non-physical manor of course. Value can be anything that you have to offer such as time,knowledge, adventure or even good company.

Continuing on to disqualification, the technique originated from old market sales when the weekly market was a competitive business. Market holders use to belittle other market stools and merchants to costumers as a means of gaining there custom instead of talking more about their own stools and products.

 The concept of disqualification was transferred over to social interaction as a means of lowering social value of others instead of trying to increase their own, which can be seen as being arrogant on occasion. There are ways to raise your own personal value without appearing arrogant but we will save that for another blog.

The method for disqualification would be to express to the person of interest you are talking to, how you and your friends are more fun,playful and charismatic in comparison to the others around you by clearly stating that fact. My favourite few examples of this are:

* “I will introduce you to anybody in this venue and I can guarantee they are not as fun or good company as me and my friends.”

Or

* "Let's go meet some new friends together and see who's fun."

If you and your friends have created an inviting world and are clearly having genuine fun, the positive atmosphere you will have created is easily visible to an outside perspective therefore the chance are (more often than not) after you state the comment to your new acquaintance or friend,they will not ask for you to prove it. On the rare occasion that they do (and this is more fun) you can go, and approach some more groups and introduce you both to some more people.

  Some more example of disqualification are:

* “ Isn’t it amazing how all the men/women here dress like each other and wear the same type of clothes, come to think off it so do the women/men.Well that’s boring."

* “ Ok, so who do you think the weirdest man/women is here.”

These disqualifications are slightly more direct but, and believe me when I say this, these types of gossip based lines are being used all the time by different people, even about you and your friends. Indecently what these comments are doing is subconsciously telling the person spoke to, to actually look around and find the weirdest/ugliest/boring person around you. Therefore when found immediately lowering their value and everyone else who has come into the line of sight when looking for the weirdest/ugliest/boring person.

This is just one simple way of raising your social value when out and about. Please do however remember the simple rule when socialising and trying to meet new people. Whether you’re out to make new friends meet some one to date or even for the cheeky bit of excitement, remember to allows be polite and non-aggressive and have fun.

Thanks for reading !!

The emotion jealousy and the green eyed beast!

My relationship with jealousy has always been a mixed one.I, like many others get jealousy easy, especially when socialising. How ever this emotion plays a huge part when meeting new people especially if we are meeting new people for dating.

Let me share with you here a small story. A few years ago I was out with some friends. The night was quite so I decided to introduce my self to some new people. Within the group of new friends I had met was a woman who caught my eye. She was interesting, fun and petite. I was not attracted to this women, she was just very friendly and polite. As the night went on she started to flirt a little with me, as flattered as I was I still was not attracted to her, I just enjoyed her company. As she could see I was not responding to her advances she decided to start flirting with my friends and her attention quickly shifted.

It was at this point in the night that I started becoming very jealous of my friend and the attention he was getting and slowly started wanting the attention back slowly becoming attracted to her whilst doing so. Throughout the night this fun petite women was sharing her attention and her touch between me and my friend and as my jealousy grew so did my attraction. This continued throughout the night until the attraction I felt was high enough for me to want to exchange contact details.

In the morning as I broke down the events of the previous night I was reluctant to call this women again as I was not attracted to her at all yet during the night I was drawn to her like a moth to a light bulb. I realised that morning that by allowing my jealousy to grow and get the better off me I allowed my attraction to grow and that there is a clear bond between them. 

We met up a few days later for a friendly chat and coffee knowing that I will have to explain how I am not interested in dating this women but enjoyed her company and wanted to make a new friend. I nervously explained to her how I felt. As she let out a little giggle she explained that she knew and how she deliberately tried to make me jealousy for that reason but most importantly she could tell how I felt that night. We still speak to each other to this day. There are two things from this story to take note of here.

Firstly, being that jealousy is very easy to read and that we must control our emotions and our body language when we are meeting new people and not to allow our emotional state to change to the negative as it will change the course we set ourselves on as explained in more detail in spiral thinking. Attraction between two people can be built in many different ways; I'm sure in another blog we will give some examples.

Secondly being that jealousy is an emotion that people deliberately play with and that we can also use the emotion jealousy as a tool in our arsenal if we so choose to demonstrate our higher value. There is nothing wrong with being a little flirty with more than one person. You can just be a flirty guy/girl.

Thanks for reading!

Creating A World And Sharing Your Aura

The idea and theme from creating a world has changed overtime. As our social situations have become more sophisticated and calmer in terms of volume of people and noise levels, our idea of 'creating a world' has also evolved and has changed to the environment we find our self’s in. 

Creating a world in a high volume venue like a pub or night club will of course be different to creating a world in a small venue or a daytime venue like a coffee house or a wine bar. This is because your world should match that of your environment.

When we are talking about creating a world we are referring to the aura or vibe you and your friends are sending out into the atmosphere.We have spoken previously about creating new conversations and how we can use our environment to aid us to do so. I would like you the reader to think for a second the last time you were in a venue and a group of people were making excessive noise that you found annoying. Notice how everyone else in the venue is also finding this group annoying. This group maybe a sports group, shouting and cheering to loud or a group whom have consumed to much alcohol and have started to accidentally smash classes. This is not creating a world. You’re would should aid you to create new conversations, not make it harder.

When you approach new people to converse with, you’re table and friends should all present them self’s as approachable people, friendly, fun, charming. It is very important here to note that your friends all should complement each other when the aim is to meet new people. Elevating each other's confidence and self-belief is more productive than competing amongst each other for attention and validation. When there is a subtle bitterness amongst friends, it becomes apparent to everybody that there is not a strong unity within your group.

Just like you notice the loud table when you’re out, others will notice your table or group when they are out. If you and your friends are being noticed by having an inviting aura that attracts people's attention in the right way by being fun and friendly you will find it easier to have a longer more successful approach as you have already been noticed as being a fun group.

However, when the venue is loud and high volume, it clearly becomes harder to be noticed and create a positive vibe. Not to worry l, in chapter four (mini games and playfulness) there are a few games and venue openers that can help to create an inviting world in such a venue.

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Put the controller down and say yes to life!

 I, like many other's, like to pick up the controller more often than I should. I have kept myself very busy these last few years and now a time in my life has come where I have a little more “me” time available.

            It started a few months back when I found myself in the envious position of having a fair bit of extra money available from doing overtime at work. I decided to treat myself to a (nearly)new Xbox 360. With fallout 4 being released this year I decided to buy a copy of fallout 3 to get into the mood and flow with the excitement being generated around release videos and Facebook talk.

            Now here's the problem. I find it very easy to now pick up the controller whenever I have a free five or ten minutes.

            Last week on my day off my one goal was to do the ironing, a simple job that should only take an hour or so. I thought, like so many of us do, I would have a quick go on the Xbox before starting. Midway through killing something or other my phone rang and I was invited to meet a friend for a pint of diet coke in the sunshine. Strangely,for me, I declined the invite as I was still playing my game and I had still not started the ironing. As I put the phone down and continued my game I realised I had just missed a perfect opportunity to experience “life” at no cost to myself or anyone else for no other reason but to play a computer game.Who knows what kind of fun could be had on a sunny day like that? What kind of interesting new people could I possibly interact with all on the promise of one glass of diet coke?

            I immediately rang her back and accepted the invitation to meet her at the park in 20 minutes time. We had a great catch up, laughed a lot and made plans to do it all again in a few days time.

            There is no great end to this story. No great adventure and no anecdotes I can remember from the time that will stick with me till the day I die. However, what I did get from this situation, and what I hope to show you reading this is that you should say yes to life! If I had stayed in to play my game and iron, I would have played for far too long and completely forgotten to iron. Instead I chose to meet up with my friend and achieve a sense of immense happiness and joyfulness. I got some clean fresh air and a bit of healthy exercise from the walk, I laughed a lot and more importantly I said yes to an opportunity that will not be there tomorrow whereas the Xbox will be!

            Since then I have decided to say yes to almost everything like I used to and really start enjoying myself and my journey through life instead of merely being content and watching the world go by.

            Do I want to go for a walk up the hill with a friend? YES!
            Do I want to cook dinner for some friends? YES!
            Do I want to accept this invitation to an NLP seminar? YES!

            What I am basically saying here is this: If you, like many others do, Enjoy playing computer games, That'sOK. But put down the controller when the opportunity presents itself.

            The Xbox will be there tomorrow, the opportunity will not...

            Thanks for reading!

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